A musing on Loyalty

I have been sitting with the idea of loyalty for a little while, holding it lightly, noticing and wandering. I have come to the conclusion, at this time, it is an intrinsic part of our evolutionary journey.

I know it is generally deemed a ‘positive’ quality for want of a better word, someone who is loyal to you is considered to be trustworthy, and reliable.....and yet, I also know from personal experience that loyalty to an individual or ideology, family, a company....can also be toxic to our growth.

Let’s start at the individual level.........loyalty to your partner, the commitment you make is a good thing, for creating solid foundations. Yet if it leads to sacrificing who you are to keep the peace, or not being emotionally honest, then it is toxic. If the family has a covert or overt agreement that the individual needs are sacrificed for the benefit of the whole, that is most often toxic also, to a greater or lesser degree.

Why?
Because the whole is made richer through the unique individuals it is comprised of, not their dismissal due to difference. And a healthy family system, regardless of cultural factors, respects the individuals as well as the whole… everyone has something to offer that benefits them & the whole.

This is not dissimilar to an organisation..........one that requires its employees to subsume their own nature, to the benefit of the its monetary success, or its own outcomes, is most often not respecting the human being. Sometimes this is covert, as psychological sophistication will lead many to use the right words, to hide nefarious agendas. This brings to mind corporate speak, honestly I feel like I am listening to another language sometimes, and what strikes me most as an outsider, is the degree to which it is disconnected from emotional honesty.

Therefore making it possible to be loyal to an ideology that is a disconnect from your own values, without a second thought….and also if we’re working in this kind of environment 5days a week, we can carry this way of being into our personal relationships. Being a great lawyer may be beneficial in the courtroom, but, will be detrimental to intimate relationships.

For me, the litmus test is, if loyalty to an organisation, ideology or group, means betraying my authentic expression, then, it is not worth the sacrifice. This is the same for individual relations, our loyalty to our Soul (true) nature, actually makes us more trustworthy, and allows for more enjoyable relationships, ones that are not entangled in unrealistic expectations.

When we put Soul first, and make a commitment to be loyal to that which lies within, this will lead to a more fulfilling life that benefits us and the whole. One step, one day at a time.