Acceptance

I have found throughout my life ,my understanding of acceptance has changed, expanded and evolved. It is perhaps a wonderful example of the liberation that happens when consciousness is embodied, invited into a relationship with us, the equally as beautiful, human.

It is perhaps appropriate at this time of upheaval and change in the world, to open up to a different understanding of what it means to accept, be in acceptance.

One of the most significant shifts, was the understanding that, acceptance doesn't mean I have to be okay with the way someone else is towards me. And that I am totally within my own capacity of love, to choose to walk away from the relationship with that person, if it is not serving my wellbeing. 

That is one expression of compassion for Self, and for other.

What's the alternative, staying in the relationship (and I am referring to ALL relationships) and hoping the other person will change, being attached to the fact they do........sublimating your desires so that you can maintain a functional peace (whatever that is). I have learnt through experience, and holding on, way past the time I should have let go, this is a very costly alternative. Though, the cost is not something I  always recognised until it became distressing enough, because my love for the person, was such, I always held out hope we would somehow find a different point of relating.

But, you see we don't always grow at the same pace as the people we are in relationship with, whoever they may be.

The other day, I saw a tribute to a female politician, who died of cancer, and the only thing they said about her, on the news was, she always put others needs before her own. Yet on the plane we are told, in case of emergency always put your mask on first, even before attending to your child. Using that as a metaphor, if you attend to your needs first, you are fulfilled and then are available to be in relationship with the other. Then, being with other, becomes a choice of enjoyment, of WANT to be with them, not because you need something you feel is missing in you, or need them to be like you, 

Acceptance of our self, which includes our feelings, emotions, allows for choice. What was good, enjoyable, and beneficial at one stage of our life, may not be for the next. Accepting something, was good until it wasn't, is FREEDOM< and part of the change that is life. We don't label a banana as bad because its gone off, we simply accept its no longer edible. 

Life can be that simple. Though in that simplicity, doesn't mean we won't have emotions, feelings that come up.

And the more stressed we are, the more we need to come back to basics.
What is essential for my life?
That first world problem, what sits underneath it?
Am I distracting from the real pain?
There is so much unrest and division, polarisation in the world at the moment, and probably for some time to come, I imagine. One person, regardless what the movies say, will not solve those problems, Yet your wellbeing, truly, wholly, does make a difference in ways you cannot begin to imagine when you look at it from the personality/human level. Going within, finding the connection with your own highest part of you, consciousness, Soul, allows for a movement towards greater discernment over time, as to what is and isn't in your control.

Being willing to surrender to the highest part of you, your wise Self, as some call it, is accepting you don't know, and that you are available, open to something more.

Is it uncomfortable? Yes.
Just like anything we got good at in life, jobs, degrees, buying a house, they all took time, action and change on our part. This is no different, though the expectation is often unrealistically to the contrary. 

Change is most often uncomfortable to a part or parts of us. Accepting that, and moving towards it regardless, allows us to experience our next unfolding adventure, that serves now. Asking for help is a courageous act in support of ourselves. No one said we have to do it alone, yet the choice is ours.

Life is not static.

Acceptance allows for change, movement.

Love,
​Xanthe