Choice

Many of us like to have a choice, some are happy to be lead.
Yet, regardless, there are choices we all have to make.
Some are simple ones, like the choice to use an electric toothbrush or a hand held one. To eat dessert before dinner, or after.

Personal choices or preferences.

Yet, when it comes to psychological matters, the real choice isn't obvious. In fact, the more unconscious we are the more likely we are to be operating within a pattern and acting on compulsions or reacting to old scripts. Especially when we are stressed and in our fight, flight, nervous system response. It is why hysterical and historical have such a lovely rhyme between them. Inviting us to recognise, that what looks like a choice, is not one at all. 

What is calling to our attention, is acknowledgment of what is truly happening.

Life unfolds, and when traumatic experiences happen that we are unable to fully process when they happen, for any multitude of reasons, we store them in our body.  Pretending they didn't happen, keeps them there. They become an overlay, on top of any present experience, that activates them. Someone calls us a name, speaks to us in a particular way and all of a sudden we are back in the past, .

In order to be able to make a conscious choice we need to face that which is hidden and yet when I say that, I don't mean you need to go looking for it, for your life is always showing you what needs attending. Sometimes its noticing a similar relationship pattern, an addiction, finding yourself experiencing the same relationship struggle across many of your relationships. When I moved to Auckland at a time of change, I constantly met needy people, the owner of the house I was living, the manager I was working with, the lady in the book club. As I started to take care of my own needs, those people dropped out of my life, or had less impact on me. 

The benefit of seeing a therapist as opposed to talking to a friend, is you have the opportunity to dive deeper, to stay present to the experience, and with curiosity discover more of you. What is your unconscious pattern? Are you often feeling like a victim? Do you attract the same type of man or woman? Are you playing the same role at work as in your family?

Being in the truth of your experience, leads to greater awareness, which adds to life, and leads to more conscious action. Yet this is only one layer of choice....there's more to discuss on this in another blog...in the meantime, wishing you an enjoyable Sunday!