Reflections, reflecting, reflected.

A friend once asked me what is projection.....she found it difficult to understand what exactly it was, probably because it's not something we talk about outside of the therapeutic world. I think reflections is another good word for it.

Projection as related to understanding oneself, is the act of putting a part of you onto someone external to you. Usually it will be a part of ourselves we haven't accepted, because it was deemed unacceptable in our family of origin. So, for example, at one point in my life, I wasn't very good at identifying what my needs were, or even allowing them. So, I was surrounded by needy people, who I found irritating. Once I was able to accept this part of myself, the needy people also disappeared from my life. And so it goes. For its not a one off thing, and not a matter of if we're doing it, but rather finding out how we are doing it.

This is one of the benefits of therapy, it provides an opportunity for us to start exploring our internal world, reflect and increase our awareness, of ourselves, and our way of being in the world. This is why so many therapist's recommend meditation (with practice, means you are able to quiet your mind enough to be able to connect with the other parts of you) and journal writing (a place to be emotionally honest, and note your reflections of experiences you have) -  you to start to build a foundation of connection with your internal world.

The more you are willing to do this, the more you will get out of therapy. For a therapist is not a magician, who waves a wand and makes your problems go away; they are there to support your journey of self discovery. This journey is not always a comfortable one, for in undertaking it, we are asked to be honest with ourselves, and take responsibility for our life. That is usually confronting and uncomfortable, especially when we have spent much of it running away from things, numbing our emotions and playing the blame game.

This is where kindness, gentleness, come in. Finding ways to engage in acts of self care, such as a walk in nature, a soothing bath, a longer shower, a massage.

How do you know if you are projecting?
Well, usually it's the thing/s where you find yourself saying, I hate people who are........
And another way to identify you are projecting, is when your emotional response is out of proportion to the incident.

We cannot be free if we are re-acting on unconscious impulses. Self-awareness is something we cultivate, by putting in the time and effort. 

Feel free to reach out with any questions, or share any thoughts you may have regarding this topic.