Resilience

When a word becomes popular, my first inclination is to stay away from it....and then, when I choose to use it, I look it up in the dictionary. because in overuse, there is often a diluting of, a reduction in, what a word actually means.

So, resilience, In the Oxford dictionaries is defined as the ability to recover quickly from difficulties. 

I am not sure why it has to be quick...yet, that also makes sense now I sit with it for a moment. One of the things that changed in my own process of awakening, is my ability to bounce back from difficulties. What once was something I may have stewed on for a couple of weeks or months, became experiences I could move through in less time. I also was able to develop patience in allowing time for the energies to integrate and embody.

So, we cannot talk about resilience without considering the different facets of our being....from things as basic as sleep, diet, water intake, to time spent in meditation, journal writing, on vacation, away from technology, in connection with people who love & support us.

Some of us run at a higher baseline of anxiety than others (like a duck, we seem calm on the surface and paddling madly underwater), so, it may not take much for us to exceed our threshold of tolerance and feel overwhelmed by something seemingly small. In those moments, we are most often in our sympathetic nervous system - flight/fight/freeze or appease, we are on auto pilot, and forget all the stressors that led to this moment. During one of the most stressful periods in my life, I was so much in survival mode, my body was the part of me alerting me to my imbalances - lower back problems, irritable bowel, and I just kept on going, because I felt if I was to stop and breathe it would all fall apart. The crazymaking of our thinking at these times, is a sure indication, of which part of us is running the show - MIND. 

And as I did start to attend to my body, to take time for relaxation, start seeing a counsellor, I found I was able to start freeing up some space for clearer thinking, healthier decision making and access to a more relaxed state of being. 

Another key factor for me in relation to resilience is being resourceful. This is directly linked to asking for help, and discerning who to go to for that. IN the darkest of times and throughout my life I have been good at this, always grateful for the loving support I received. Friends or family can be a good resource, and a necessary one, but for some of us, that can be one of the stressors, so finding a therapist or group/community, can be an alternate support network. In choosing a therapist, I found I had someone who was in my court, and who loved and supported me, who could reflect my imbalances, my faulty thinking, when it arose, that wasn't serving me.

So, I want to end with this....resilience isn't about being perfect, its about being able to firstly recognize where you are at, if you are not coping, getting honest with yourself about that, reach out to someone and then, find out what you need to do to improve your wellbeing. I would love to hear from you, with any comments or questions.