Tangled webs

Here we are moving towards the end of the year at a rapid pace it feels......and this blog is inspired by a common occurrence in the realm of relationships, named triangulation.

I will try and do it justice in the written form, by keeping it simple. I want to add how often this can be quite an unconscious thing, nevertheless, no less stressful or problematic.

Triangulation is defined in one site as a form of manipulation to divide and conquer two other people, a form of manipulation. For example, in a family, this is how it might look........husband & wife are stressed, their relationship is problematic, and so, a third individual is brought into the relationship to alleviate the distress, often a child.

What often happens then, is a sense of closeness is formed with the child by one of the parents, and this causes a fracturing in the relationship between the child and the other parent. You can translate this across a whole slew of relationships.
I had a situation in recent times with a client, whose parent was doing exactly that. I could feel the attempts to win me over to their cause. I re-emphasised my boundaries, yet the parent continued to try. 

Personally, I had an old friend I caught up with after many years, who wanted me to help another friend, do what she was unwilling to do. In the past I would have jumped in boots and all, this time, I said no,. I have no doubt that friend walked away thinking I was no longer a caring human being, and I am okay with that.  

That is the point of me sharing this knowledge.

If you feel this may be going on at work, or in your home, the best thing to do is bringing everyone together, if you feel you are up for it. There's nowhere to hide. If you feel unsafe doing that, you can always engage a professional or mediator. 

Any thoughts or queries, please share them in the comments below.