The Art of Being yourself

This past few weeks, I have enjoyed the presence of more rainbows, sparkles, and a festive atmosphere, with Mardi Gras and World Pride occurring in our beautiful city at the same time.

It has me thinking of the art of being ourselves, and how it's not always an easy thing.....in some shape or form, it is a universal journey. I hear more frequently these days people talking about wanting to connect or find their authentic self. Feeling confused as to what that might be or how to find it. So much so, that it can become its own mental conundrum.

Often the coping mechanism is to become more attached to playing certain roles, ones that allow us to protect ourselves and to survive the experiences of our lives. These roles  will become so comfortable, often concretised, we will call them our identity and in so doing, dismiss parts of ourselves that don't fit the mould. Another thing that happens when we put most time and energy into only a facet of our identity, for example, work as that is a popular one, we take those qualities into our personal life where they don't work for us, 

The reality is our Western society makes it easy to stay in this place of disconnect, as it has a limited definition of success - buy the house; get a 'good' job, that pays well, travel lots, have kids, etc. one that primarily exalts achievement, big and better. That most often comes at a cost, a busy life, leaves little room for being, for the development of a relationship with our Soul (heart & feeling world) and our body. I will save the dreams of my truest desires for when I retire, I hear some say.

So, we get lost.

And our relationships aren't gratifying or fulfilling and we feel like we're on a treadmill.

This is why I think the act of self love, is such a courageous one. It takes courage to embrace all the different parts of ourselves - the good, the bad & the ugly, and know we are enough, and loveable. These acts of emotional honesty, and the willingness to tend too, and care for the different parts of self, takes effort and energy, attention and focus. There are no quick fixes, for habits of a lifetime do not change overnight. 

The fact we expect or want quick fixes is the symptom of a mental paradigm. With clients who come to me for addiction issues I have often responded, it is the desire for a quick fix, that has led to the development of your addictions. 
Real healing takes time.
And most of all, a big dose of acceptance (love in action). 

The more we are able to accept things and ourselves exactly as we are, the more energies move and our life changes. As a wise person said, what you resist, persists.

Self care is allowing yourself to feel those emotions that arise, to come to completion/resolution, regardless how uncomfortable. The more you are willing to do this, to love & nurture yourself, the more you will discover an emerging new vitality and engagement with life. 

The choice is yours. 

Every day, you have another opportunity, to take one step towards loving yourself, it can be as simple as the deep conscious breath. 

Love always,
​Xanthe 

​